The Po Show

While I'm Back

So since our great National Tragedy brought me back to my blog, I decided I will make a better effort to stay back.

What's going on here in White Plains, NY, birthplace of the state of New York? It's getting freaking cold. And we seem to be adjusting. It was 46 degrees tonight when we went out to get Ross at the train station, and Tessa refused to wear her jacket or put on shoes and socks. 46, and she's barefoot. It was 57 today at midday, and I found it too hot for my own jacket. Wow, two years ago in CA I would have been bitching up a storm over 57 degrees.

Now yesterday, that was cold. 27 ("feels like 19" proclaimed weather.com) when we got up in the morning. We took Matthew to school, stood with him outside with his class line, and I wondered exactly how freaking cold it has to get before they let these poor kids go straight to their classrooms. Tessa loved it; she loves her winter clothes. She can't wait to eat snow again. Matthew claims he will never leave indoors again once it starts to snow.

eBay is my work, and my world outside of the kids and the house. I haven't made a single friend yet. I see my husband so little now, compared to our lives before. I drink every single night, for the first time in my life.

I can't decide if I'm happy or not. I guess it depends on the moment. I tried to wean myself off Paxil, but it didn't go well. I still snap my pills in half most days.

I need to go for a physical. I need to go to the dentist for a cleaning. I need to find a therapist. I need to do something with my life besides buying thousands of dollars worth of stuff at Gymboree and selling it on eBay. I need to clean the shower.

I need a lot of things right now.