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Standing on the East Coast, pointed toward California, and clicking my heels three times

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Hello, I Must Be Going!!

Well, after having sort of started posting again, I'm going to be leaving for CA tomorrow for a month. So I will be gone again till the second week of August.

See you on the other side!
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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Nightmare in Blogland

Once upon a time I had a friend who really hurt me. Actually, that was not her intention, but she got involved with someone else who had really really hurt me, and when I tried to warn her she basically told me to get lost. This was years ago but it still bothers me (since I can basically never ever let anything go :p).

Anyway, last night I dreamt that I found her blog and in the comments there were a bunch of comments about me. She (as the blog owner) told "me" that I had gotten my second strike, that my previous comments (which I didn't see in the dream) were completely uncalled for. The basic message of the comments was that I was sad, sick fuck.

I woke up going WHOAAAAAAA! Now I'm DREAMING about being persecuted in other people's blogs? Has the blogsphere so penetrated my existence that it's gotten into my nightmares? Or am I just so concerned about what other people think about me that I'm worried about hypothetical trashing in a whole new venue?

You can guess the first thing I did when I got up, though: I googled to see if I could find her blog. I didn't find anything. I don't know if I'm relieved or concerned.
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Saturday, July 02, 2005

Staring 40 in the Face

Eep. I'm 39 years old today. I'm not prepared for being 40. I have said this so many times that even I'm nauseous reading it, but if you had told me when I was 20 that I would be 40 and not have a career, I'd have told you you were nuts.

So am I going to obsess incessantly for the next year, the way I did when I was 29 going on 30? I was convinced that the world was going to end, just had to end, before I actually turned 30 (okay, not really, but it seemed like the only way to avoid turning 30). My sister swore that turning 40 was much easier than 30. I'm certainly WAY less self-absorbed than I was at 30, just out of necessity. Perhaps that will shield me from the fear of 40. I'm so busy putting little Trader Joe's pizzas in the toaster oven and cleaning up spilled soy milk and broken crayons. Who has time to obsess about having grown old with no personal achievement other than having given birth? All right, I'll stop (for now :P).

Happy freaking birthday to me. I did have the world's greatest pastrami at Katz's today, so that's something to be happy about. And I was with my favorite people in the whole world, who are my whole world, so it was the best of all possible birthdays.
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