The Po Show

Stress

So what is it? Is it anxiety about the school year ending, the mad rush I'm pushing myself through to get as much as possible done while I still have "me" time? Is it the heat? Is it PMS? Is it all of the above?

What made me just say through gritted teeth to Tessa, "I am SO angry!" Then tell her to go to sleep, and stomp out of the room.

Yeah, she was pissing me off by whining about the order in which her stuffed animals were placed on her bed, whining that she wanted to sleep with the baby blanket that has been run all over the tile floor, shoved into corners, and not washed in god knows how long. After all I go through to minimize the dust mites she comes in contact with, that wasn't going to happen.

Yeah, I spent the entire day shopping specifically for stuff for her class birthday party tomorrow, organizing goody bags, and baking 2 dozen cupcakes in 80 degree weather. And I couldn't stand any more whining. But geez, she's not quite 5, it was late, it was bedtime, and she was tired. Whining is lingua franca.

But I'm tired too. I'm tired of being underappreciated by these small people. I'm tired of constant demands for stuff, for always more, for nothing ever seeming to be enough. What have you done for me lately (like in the last three nanoseconds?).

It's my own fault too. I'm tired of feeling like I have to have perfect goody bags, perfect cupcakes, give the perfect freaking birthday party for a bunch of 5 year olds. Because that's all I get to do in life, and I have to be perfect.

Pushed and pulled from both sides, but harder on the side I am on, myself.