The Po Show

Happy to be a Mother Day

It sort of astonishes me when I hear childless people question whether they should have children or not. While I absolutely believe that people who don't want children should not have them, just the question itself is unfathomable for me, personally. I understand all their reservations, all their excuses for why they don't know if parenthood is for them.

"I'm too selfish." "I'm too busy." We don't have enough money right now." "We move around too much." "I'm too fucked up."

But what I've come to understand is that having kids can be the answer, not the question. Of course people don't always step up when they become parents, sometimes to tragic proportions, but I would never have guessed how being a mother would make me SO much better a human being.

Thinking about the welfare, happiness, and everyday needs of these small people has brought out qualities in me that I never would have thought possible. They make me unselfish. They make me persevere. They make me open my heart. They make me DE-fucked up. I have to be the grown-up, the one with unconditional love, the one who does not hold grudges, the one who stops and thinks. The one who forgives. The one who smiles and opens her arms and holds you tight, even when things seem hopelessly bleak. The one who can bring the sunshine back.

I always say, no one can love you like your babies love you. No MAN could ever love you like your babies do, even a man who loves you truly and has given you his heart. The joy that infuses me as I feel that love, it's like nothing in the world. It's what heaven must be made of.

My five year old made me several cards :), one of which says "Dear Mom, I love you. Because you make me happy. Love, Tessa." And I know I do, make her happy. It's my job, and I'm gratified to know I've done it well. She made me a paper good luck charm, put it in a box, and made her own wrapping paper and paper bow to decorate it. She wanted me to be happy too. She drew a picture of the two of us holding hands, that says "My mom is special because she is beautiful. I love you."

My nine year old made me a card, a crepe paper flower, and a beaded bracelet. The bracelet was a real accomplishment, because with his fine motor delays, I'm sure the tiny beads were hard to manage. I commented that it was a beautiful bracelet, and he replied, "Yes, it took a long time to make." Wanting to please me, he really stretched his thresholds of patience, and that's a testament to how much he loves me.

This is what Mother's Day is to me, homemade examples of the fruits of my life's work, my works in progress. We moms often complain that we're unappreciated, underappreciated, don't get positive feedback like we did when we got paid cash money for our jobs. We get frustrated and sad and wonder what our lives are all about, what the sacrifices of our sanity and our self-esteem have all been for.

I look at my paper treasures, and my beaded bracelet, and I know.