The Po Show

The Last Day of Summer

Vacation, that is.

Here are my two children: one sighing heavily and wincing and saying, over and over, "I can't believe summer is over already." The other, cheerfully cheering, over and over, "School! School! School! I can't wait for school to start! I'm so excited school starts tomorrow!"

We had our teacher meet and greet today (after our traditional, final day of summer vacation, trip to Chuck E. Cheese). Tessa was thrilled to meet her new teacher, thrilled that three of her friends from last year's class are in her class this year. She happily looked around the classroom and merrily told everyone, "Bye! See you tomorrow!"

Matthew met his teacher, who seems absolutely awesome. He made sure Matthew was really listening to him, then said, "I'm here to help you. Anytime you start to feel uncomfortable, you just raise your hand and tell me, 'Mr. Fried, this is hard for me.' No one else has to hear about it; we can go outside. I don't want you to have another year like last year. This year is going to be much better." Wow, that was great, and Matthew actually seemed responsive.

So we left feeling good, or so I thought. Driving home, I felt tears well up in my eyes, because I am just so filled with apprehension about how Matthew will do. I have worked so hard to appear optimistic in front of him, to prepare him for going back and facing school again. I'm wiped.

Usually I so look forward to my kids going back to school (though I do feel guilty for being so glad that I won't have to be with them 24/7 for awhile; I hear other moms say, "Oh, I'm so sad that school is starting! I wish we had more time together!" and I feel like a freak for not feeling the same). But not this year. I would be glad if school didn't start for another week, another month, maybe never? Because I'm dreading what might come, I'm fearing anguish and suffering and the anxiety of never knowing when I'm going to come home to a message on the machine, when I'm going to get a call on my cell phone, asking me to come to school because Matthew is in the office after a major meltdown.

On the way home today, Tessa chanted, "I'm so excited for school to start!" Matthew hrumphed and huffed, "Well, I'm not!" He looked out the window and said again, "I can't believe summer is over already!"