The Po Show

Rain, Rain

It's just started raining in earnest (where's earnest?). I hope it held off long enough.

You see, Tessa is on a field trip to the Hudson River today. This is the first big first grade field trip of the year. The kids take a bus down to Croton Point Park and seine for fish that will go into the class aquarium. Then they look for shells and rocks and other treasures, which will be made into collages back at school. They learn about the ecology of the river, and they tour the tiny little light house by the Tappan Zee Bridge. In the spring they will go back and release the fish back into the river (provided they survive; I don't think the fish in Matthew's class that year made it).

This is a rain or shine field trip, with no chance for rescheduling. So I've been anxiously monitoring the weather forecasts for the past week. It was looking like rain. Then it was looking like thunderstorms in the evening, but a clear day. Then it was looking like a clear morning, but thunderstorms in the afternoon.

I've checked the radar 400 times today, watching the encroaching green overlay creep its way through Pennsylvania and New Jersey. I've hoped and hoped that the kids are able to do all the fun things they set out to do, without getting soaking wet. Tessa is wearing her raincoat, but it is POURING now. I hope they're safely back on the bus.

I realized that my obsession with her having a successful field trip is really symptomatic of my intense need for things to go well for my kids in life. I can't stand the thought of them being really unhappy, or disappointed, or disillusioned with the world. And while at times I think this may be a disservice, since life just ain't always a bed of roses, at other times I feel like I am just doing my job. If I, as their mother, can't be the one to shelter them from the injustice and pain in the world, who can? I know much of it comes from Matthew having sooooo many more challenges in life than the average kid, but I feel it for Tessa too.

I need to try to keep the rain off their heads, like a great big human umbrella. But even I can't control the weather.