The Po Show

Back on the Treadmill

No, this isn't a diatribe about how my life is a never-ending conveyor belt of monotony (though it certainly could have been). It's about getting on my actual treadmill, as in exercise equipment.

I was thinking of crawling back into bed this morning after I dropped off the kids--till I stepped on the scale! I haven't weighed myself in quite a while and it was a major shock. I have not weighed this much, literally, since just before Tessa was BORN. So, I was around 35 weeks pregnant! Ack!! So I got my butt on the treadmill. Well, actually my feet were on the treadmill and my butt came along for the ride.

I've been very delinquent about working out, since I have been so exhausted by Matthew's lack of sleep. Halloween candy has taken a bit of a toll, weight-wise, I guess (while I was really good about only buying types of candy that I personally do not like, Tessa came home with a TON of trick or treats that had nuts in them. She hates nuts. I found it amazing, in this day and age of nut allergies, that SO many people were passing out candy with nuts, including full size Snicker bars and Reese's Peanut Butter cups, which happen to be my favorites.)

It's just WEIRD to me, this added weight. I still can't get used to it, though I've been in my new body shape for a few years now. My entire life I'd eaten whatever the hell I'd wanted to, and had always been really thin. I had two babies and was really thin. I weighed 102 pounds on Tessa's first birthday (okay, I know, this was because I was not eating dairy and not sleeping and had had what used to be quaintly called a nervous breakdown, plus I looked *terrible*, but I was stick thin a year after having a baby!). Then I went on Paxil for 2 years and the weight started piling on, and kept piling on even after I went off drug, steadily and stealthily. Never huge amounts, a pound or two here and there, with lots of ups and downs of no more than that pound or two. But the trend was up, and boy has it upped itself to a level that made me just about fall off the scale.

So, ick, the treadmill. We bought it almost 2 months ago (special deal on Costco.com and free shipping! Plus I more than paid for it by ebaying the kids' fall/winter clothes from last year), and it hasn't been used much. I wanted it, so I would not have an excuse not to walk even when the weather turned cold and nasty. I seem to have dredged up excuses anyway. Bottom line, all my life I have despised exercise and I despise it even more now that it appears to be a necessity.

I really wish there'd been a special treadmill on Costco.com, a magical treadmill that would let me walk back to my old body, the one I probably will never see again.