The Po Show

Speaking of Flower Drum Song...

During my sophomore year at UC Santa Cruz, I took a course called "Asian American Women" (nothing more fun than studying yourself!). At the end of class one day, the instructor mentioned that we'd be watching "Flower Drum Song" during the next class.

"Oh!," I gushed, "I LOVE that movie!!"

She was utterly appalled. (She was also utterly appalled the day I told her that her new haircut was "cute." Yes, MaryAnn Kim, Ph.D., really needed to lighten up a bit.) We were watching the movie to analyze "Madonna/whore" stereotypes of Asian women in the media, but for me the movie conjured up nice memories of fun songs and James Shigeta when he was young and hot. Most of all, it was a musical (and a movie) *that was about, and starring, Asians*. Or Orientals as they were still called back then in the late '60s, but whatever. Sure, it's chock full of really deplorable stereotypes, but the Asians were the story, not relegated to some bit role in the background, some "friend" part. The one Asian in the group, a token, an afterthought.

You see, the whole time I was growing up, I wanted to be an actress. When I was a little girl, if someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always, immediately said an actress. Then they'd smile and chuckle indulgently and say something like "Ah, I guess that's every little girl's dream." That really ticked me off, because I was dead serious, despite the dearth of Asian women in TV and the movies (there was Mrs. Livingston on "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" (did you REALIZE that she was in the starring role in "Flower Drum Song"???), and there were random bit part mafia molls and such on "Hawaii 5-0." And that was about it.) Later, there was Kelly on "M*A*S*H. And that was about it.

When I was in junior high, I started doing community theater, which probably saved my life, later on in high school. I loved it, and I felt incredibly accepted and appreciated as talented. But there was the snag of finding shows that I could do. I mostly found myself in musicals (what a revelation for a klutz like me to suddenly find myself *dancing*!), where there was more wiggle room. I played Liat in "South Pacific," not once, but twice. I did "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off" (clown makeup). I did "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" (the chorus is a big mishmash anyway). I did original dance dramas, in which the directors didn't care what I looked like.

But I was waiting for "Flower Drum Song." I was waiting for a chance to be the star, and it just didn't come. And I knew it wouldn't, so I gave up on the dream of acting. Because I knew that it was hard enough if you were white and could play any European-descended person, let alone if you looked like I did. I knew I wouldn't starve well, and I knew that I really belonged in college, nerd girl that I was. Asians are in now, and Lucy Liu got to be a Charlie's Angel, but that was not the case then. I know I made the right decision.

And I will regret that I never got the chance, for the rest of my life.