The Po Show

Hellllloooooo?????

So you'd think that after almost 20 years of marriage, almost 24 years of being together, my husband would acknowledge that I am phone phobic. This is not a new development.

So him exasperatedly telling me to keep hounding people to get the psychologist who is attached to the county program to schedule Matthew's intakes, when I don't have anybody's email addresses, telling me, "Just keep calling. Call back every single day. Call someone and keep asking till you find someone who has his email address. If that doesn't work call Dr. Soandso again and see if she can push them again" is like saying to me, "Here's a sharp stick. Poke yourself in the eye with it. Poke yourself in the eye every single day. Stand on the corner and ask the next person who walks by to poke you in the eye. Keep walking around till you find a man in a red hat, then ask him to poke you in the eye. Go find the person you want to alienate the least in the world and ask her to poke you in the eye."

I mean, come ON. I have TRIED. And no, I can't ask, "Can YOU call?" because that sets up the whole "You're sitting on your ass at home all day while I'm killing myself 13 hours a day" scowl, accompanied by spitting, "Fine! I'll find sometime to call" at me like nails. Which I actually sort of agree with, so that makes it worse.

I just wish I wasn't so freaked out by picking up the stupid telephone.