The Po Show

Settling In

Thanks Leila for asking about how Matthew is doing :). I've wanted to update for awhile, but it's been hard because, well, I just don't have a lot of information straight from the source. I meet with Matthew's therapist once a week (this is a required part of the program, which is fine with me. I mean, MORE free therapy is simply amazing) and she has reported that he's doing great. His teachers all say he's transitioning beautifully, and it's a mark of the type of environment at this school that they understand that for him, some minor outbursts and some reluctance to participate *is* transitioning beautifully. As opposed to his third grade teacher, who told me he was having a rough start because he refused to do a writing assignment the second week of school. ("No," I wanted to tell her, "his hitting someone or throwing a chair would signal a rough start!").

But I don't have a lot of details, because Matthew just won't talk about school. I have some second-hand anecdotes, which are nice, but when I ask him even the most basic questions about school, he won't answer. "What's one thing you studied in class today?" or "Can you give me an example of a game you played today?" are met with silence. He presses his lips together (can't get much more clear than that) and just looks at me. I'm not pushing it, and I'm not worried.

Yesterday I did get a nice tidbit. I had to drive him to school (new bus driver in the morning, who apparently showed up 10 minutes earlier than I'd been expecting and didn't honk so we didn't realize he was out there waiting) and I tried to engage Matthew in a little school convo. After some prodding about "Can you tell me ANYTHING about how school is going??," he finally offered, "It wasn't going so well at first, but it's better now."

After some more verbal dancing (Me: "Can you tell me one thing that improved?" Him: "What do you mean?" Me: "You said that things are better now than they were before, so that seems to mean that things have improved. What's one thing that has improved?"), he finally said, "Well, about my getting upset about things."

I asked, "So you're getting upset less than before?"

"Yes," he answered. So that's great, that's why he's there.

Today I went to the school's "mother's group," which is a support group held weekly. It was really nice to share with other moms who understand, and really upsetting to hear other people's stories. These moms all have kids who've been through a lot, some of them hospitalized and/or arrested along the way. It was appalling to hear how many were just so let down by their schools and school districts, their kids put through so much suffering that just wasn't necessary. I said it was really terrible that everything had to go to hell before people did the right thing, which is what I've been saying all along about us. But man, our story is lightweight compared to some.

Anyway, so that's the deal for now. All I know is that Matthew's therapist says that when she sees him in the halls, he's smiling. I'll settle for that for now.