The Po Show

My Little Circle Shrinks Further

As I've said many times before, I really don't have any face-to-face, IRL, seen-on-a-regular-basis friends these days, to my continued bewilderment. No one that I meet for lunch, or shopping, or talk to on the phone (well, the fact that I'm phone-phobic may be the reason for that, but you know what I mean!). But I do have many online friends whom I love dearly, and "see" on a very regular basis.

I "saw" many of them on a daily basis via an online board I've been a member of, for almost three years now. It was the spawn of another board that was the spin-off of an earlier board that came about as an off-shoot of a forum that originally started about four years ago (don't you just love the internet?). The original forum was composed of a group of women who were all obsessed with Gymboree clothing. I joined it more or less as research, to figure out which items were popular, when sales were coming up, and what coupons were floating around. That forum got really huge, and as always there were some serious crazies posting there, so there were various new private membership boards formed to try and get away from the crazies. Still more problems ensued with all these smaller groups, and during the eventual shake out I ended up with a very small, intimate, very nice group of women.

I've logged on there at least a couple of times a day for almost three years. Most of those women don't even buy Gymboree anymore, but they stay for the friendships. I've spent an enormous amount of time and energy posting peppy, supportive posts, researching problems for people, maintaining a birthday list and wishing each member and her children a happy birthday, and generally hanging out with these women.

In the way of internet friendships, I knew that I really didn't have all that much in common with most of these women, and I would never have become friends with them IRL. But it was nice to chat and see pictures of their sweet children. Lots of times, people posted things that made me sort of go "ick" inside, but I let it go. I didn't swear overtly, I didn't spout lefty politics, I feel that I went out of my way to be respectful and considerate of others' sensibilities.

Yesterday I logged on in the morning and found a long diatribe by one of the women on the board, saying it was "a very sad day for America." She then went on to slam Barack Obama, saying he had no character or commitment to the country and that he was morally unfit and completely unqualified to serve as president. She said she was sure that his election would worsen the moral decay that is ruining the country.

Shaken, I fired off a response, saying that I had personally been traumatized in 2004, but I would NEVER post to the group that I thought Bush's re-election was an unimaginable disaster, when I knew that there were people reading it who supported him. I said that I thought that the board was supposed to be a place where everyone considered the feelings of others, and posting a diatribe attacking Obama like that directly impugned the judgment of those who supported him. A flurry of responses followed, with several people saying that everyone was entitled to her opinion, and should be allowed to express those opinions without "outbursts," in the words of one person (I assume that was leveled at me). The woman who originally posted the thread responded by saying that she was tired of being held back from saying what she thought "just because I'm a white Christian." OMG.

I responded again, saying that I apologized if my post was taken as an attempt to stifle anyone's opinion, but that I felt there was a fundamental difference between stating your preference for a candidate, and saying that his opponent was morally unfit to serve as president. I also said that I failed to understand why she thought she had to censure her comments as a white Christian, since the majority of women on the board are conservative white Christians. I said that I was not, but I had always tempered my comments out of respect for those who were.

And then I decided to get the hell out of there. There was no way that I was going to go out of my way to try and be supportive and respectful of people who think that Sarah Palin is just wonderful, if I can't expect the same from them.

But I'm sad, because there really are several people on that board whom I really love, and I'll miss sitting down every morning, logging on, and seeing what they're up to for the day.