The Po Show

"You Have No Idea"

I've been hearing this a lot from Matthew. It just sounds so pre-adolescent, along with "No one understands how I'm feeling!" Ah, the tsunami of angst that is headed our way, I can feel it.

Matthew hobbled into the living room this morning, unable to put any weight on his right leg. He said it had hurt all night, like there was something wrong with the nerve. I rubbed his upper calf, near the fold of the knee, and felt a bunched up muscle. Seemed like a charley horse to me, so I gave him an ibuprofen and told him to drink a lot of water. All morning he grimaced and winced every time he moved, and wouldn't put his foot down flat when he walked.

"Does it still hurt?," I asked.

"You have NO idea," he replied.

Yeah, 'cause I've never had a charley horse before, and I have no idea how they hurt. Kind of like when he comes home from school huffing and puffing, heaving great sighs, and when I ask if he's tired, he says, "You have NO idea!" Yeah, 'cause **I've** never been tired before in my entire LIFE, so how could I have any idea?? I make the required sympathetic comments, and I do feel for him, but geez.

I watch as the peach fuzz darkens on his upper lip, as his voice sometimes runs this crazy gamut between low notes and high notes, as his feet expand. He's grown like two inches since summer, making him over 5'2".

He's 11 years old, and puberty seems to be knocking on our door, and I'm so not ready for it. You have no idea.