The Po Show

Meds Again

I just got a call from Matthew's therapist, who said that she had had a meeting with the clinical director of the school, who after extensive monitoring of Matthew in the classroom and after talking with his teachers, decided to try him on Abilify again. In light of how activating the drug was the last time he was on it, she's starting him at half the usual initial dose, so hopefully he doesn't turn into a zombie this time. There wasn't any precipitous event that made the psychiatrist suggest starting meds, just the fact that she's observed him for several weeks now and his anxiety level seems to have gone up in the last few weeks (aka the end of the honeymoon).

It's interesting that it was exactly this time last year that he was on Abilify. He'd started in Oct., and by the beginning of Dec. we'd sorted out the dosage and he was no longer waking up at 1:00AM every night, unable to go back to sleep. Everyone thought he was doing very nicely on the drug. Dec. and Jan. were great months, the best months he'd had in over a year. Ambre, you might remember me telling you at New Year's Eve how we really seemed to have found the right med for him, and how it had some unique mechanisms.

Then in Feb. everything completely fell apart again, and his psychiatrist changed him to risperidone. But Ross and I both felt that it was a much more global issue, rather than a medication issue, so who knows what would have happened had he stayed on Abilify.

I was a bit hesitant about starting him on meds again right before the holidays, but his therapist said that it was probably a good time, to start titrating up from a super low level, to give him some support during the schedule upheaval of the holidays. I guess that could be true, or not. I guess we'll find out.

I have to admit that I'm ambivalent about this. On the one hand, I have never been adverse to him being on meds, if I thought that they would help. I'm just not sure they ever did, though perhaps they will in this better environment. Part of me was happy, being able to tell people how well he was doing, completely off meds, earlier this fall. Mostly I wonder if anything (therapy, drugs, whatever) will help "enough," enable him to get through life, now and in the future.