The Po Show

And We're Out of Here...

I'm bustling about, getting the last minute things done in preparation for the kids and me to leave for CA tonight. I'm not good with making lists, so I prepare by wandering aimlessly about the house wondering what I forgot to do.

I spent a considerable amount of time doing things I really *didn't* need to do today. I went to Trader Joe's and returned 10 bags of freeze-dried strawberries that have been sitting in the cupboard for months. Tessa used to eat them every single day, and last year they ran out for awhile, so I had to buy freeze-dried berries at Whole Foods ($6.49 for 2 OUNCES!), so I started stockpiling the TJ's ones like I was preparing for armageddon. Then of course she decided she didn't like them anymore. So we were stuck with literally $100 worth of dried strawberries. I took 10 bags back to one TJ's last week, and 10 more to the other store near here today.

Anyway, we're going to CA, and for the last couple of days I've been caught up in that "I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!" mode that I always slip into before a trip. I don't want the hassle of making sure we're not forgetting anything, I don't want to travel by myself on a transcontinental flight with the kids (actually they do really well, being seasoned travelers, but still), I don't want to push myself out of the boring but nonetheless familiar rut of my usual daily activities. I know I'll have a great time, and the kids will have a great time, and above all, my mother will be so happy that we are there, but it's just the ramp-up that always bothers me.

Plus there is the issue of having to deal with the kids outside of their native habit. They love Grandma's house, but it's still different. In addition, Matthew's obsessiveness has really worsened over the past couple of weeks, focusing on this one online video game that he can't decide if he wants to play or not. He wants to play the game itself, but he read some complaints in his research that a lot of jerks play it, and he is afraid of having to deal with that. We've been around and around and around on this issue, and he literally can't stop thinking about it. He even (and this is actually a major breakthrough) told his therapist this week that he needed help with a problem, so they worked out a pros and cons list for whether or not he should try the game. All this is great, but he still keep coming back to being ambivalent, and being stuck in his ambivalence."O" is for Obsession.

Anyway, this is the first time we've gone to CA for spring break, and I'm glad I decided we should go. But there's a part of me that sort of wishes we were just hanging around here, taking it easy, rather than trying to get through security at JFK tonight.