The Po Show

Misc.

1. So do I have the only child in the world who has to leave presents for the Tooth Fairy?? I know it's sweet and all, but really. At bedtime last night, Tessa had to hurriedly make the TF a bunch of paper cutouts, including "tooth holders" for both incisors and canines. All of this was put into a tiny little gift bag, along with a note that said, "Please return this bag!" I stuffed it all in my sock drawer, along with the clay pot she made the TF when she last lost a tooth. I knew I should have written a little thank you note for her in fancy "fairy writing" as I've done for the last several gifts and/or questions she has left with her discarded teeth, but I just didn't feel up to it. Because:

2. I think I might have migraines. All of my life I've had headaches, sometimes big nasty headaches that last for four days and make me feel like throwing up. I've always thought they were sinus headaches, but I'm starting to see a lot of the classic signs of migraines in them (like that nausea I just mentioned). Yes, I know I need to see a doctor. My nominal primary care provider (I've seen her all of once, for a physical last year) is out on maternity leave. But mostly I just don't feel like calling and making myself an appointment. I feel like I spend so much time and effort taking the kids to the doctor and the dentist, I never want to go myself. This last headache seems to be abating, but it could not have come at a worse time. Because:

3. Ross has been in DC since early Monday morning. He'll get back tomorrow night, so the bulk of the trip is over. Still, it's been quite awhile since he's been gone for four days in a row. This is the fourth trip to DC he's made in the last five weeks. I hate sleeping alone; I hate doing the bedtime routine all by myself; I hate not having him to talk to in the evenings after the kids go to bed. I hate hearing the wind rattle the back door and feeling, if not exactly unsafe, unsettled. I hate having him gone. I really hate having him gone this week in particular, not just because of the headache, but because:

4. Both of my kids are off this week for staff conferences. But not on the same day. No, of course not. Because then I'd have only one day of the week in which I couldn't get anything done. Though in a way, it's nice that they each get a Mommy alone day, a very rare occurrence these days. Today Matthew was off, and we had a very nice lunch out together, just the two of us. I tried to talk to him a little about school, though he was very resistant. Later we talked a little about other stuff that's been going on with him, and there's a lot going on, because:

5. My baby boy really is hitting puberty. I was very shocked the other day to discover that his testicles have descended much more than I would have guessed, and umm, they are not the testicles of a little boy anymore. I got him the AMA's Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen, which I found to be age-appropriate and informative without being more comprehensive than he really needs at this point. (I was looking on Amazon and one book that was very highly recommended apparently also discussed abortion and boys engaging in mutual masturbation and we really don't need to go there at this point in time!) The day I gave it to him, he was interested, but didn't start reading it right away. That night, as he got ready for bed, he came up to me with the book and said, "Can we read this together?"

Of course I said, "Sure!" and we read the introductory chapter together, but in my head I was screaming, "Why do **I** have to do this? I'll do the whole girl routine with Tessa! I can't discuss ejaculation with him!!!"

The next night at bedtime I was in the middle of cleaning up, and he came over again and asked if we could continue reading the book. A bit relieved, I said hopefully, "I'm in the middle of this. Why don't you go read with Dad?"

Ross chimed in from the living room, "Yes, I'll read with you!"

Matthew looked at him rather askance and replied, "Never mind. I'll read by myself," and then went into this room and shut the door!

Ross has tried a couple of times again, asking if he has any questions or wants to talk about anything he's read in the book, but the answer is always no. I find this so interesting (and uncomfortable!). Ross and Matthew have a very good relationship, though of course both of my children have been mommy babies since the day they were born. And really, wouldn't Matthew want to talk to someone who has been through the same experiences, and well, has the same equipment? I guess I'm just relieved that Matthew finally has gotten the full low-down (so to speak) about sex (which he always says in a whisper :D). He seems neither grossed out nor confused, nor particularly intrigued by that part of the book, though. He said he hadn't really been wondering about that, more about changes to his own body. Which is fine, because:

I am still not ready to really discuss the intricacies and the myriad aspects of sex with this baby-faced child with feet bigger than my own.