The Po Show

NaBloPoMo

Remember the good old days, like back in 2008? When NaBloPoMo really was a Mo (I mean, month), and November was the month? When it meant something to post every day during November?

I'm still completely unsure how it changed, how NaBloPoMo became an all-year event, in which people seem at liberty to decide when they want to post every day for a month. I get these random emails from the organization, suggesting "themes" for the month, which I trash without even reading because I'm so perturbed that I finally got on the NaBloPoMo wagon (I registered and posted every single day for the first time in 2008) and the wagon morphed into some other type of vehicle.

NaNoWriMo is still alive and kicking, apparently. Last year I spent the month writing about my account of Matthew's life and our trials and tribulations in trying to help him navigate the world. I wrote every single day during the month of November, even if it was only for 10 minutes while Matthew was taking a shower (I didn't want to have him looking over my shoulder at an inopportune moment and ask what I was writing). I got up to the second grade, and frankly I think it is pretty damn good writing. Then I let it languish for several months. Last spring, I revisited the piece, and tweaked a bit here and there. Then for one single, solitary day, I wrote some more. And have not touched it again since.

There are a couple of reasons I haven't written any more. I think the main reason is that I've reached third and fourth grade, and those were the hardest, saddest, most gut-wrenching years. Perhaps I'm not up to the challenge of delving deeply into them again. Also, I think it was therapeutic for me to write what I did, but there's no way I could ever do anything with this. It could not be published, not any time soon (like I could really get it published anyway!). Matthew cannot bear anyone even talking about him, particularly about when he was younger, so how could he possibly accept a book, telling his story, being opened up to the world? Lastly, I just am not feeling motivated to continue right now. I get sad when I think about it, to too great a degree.

So I'm going to try and write some fiction. I had an idea for a story back when Tessa was about two years old. A few years ago I started writing it; I have about two pages. Obviously there is room for further development. It's not going to be a novel, but I'll be fully thrilled if it ends up being novella length. I *am* going to finish though, even if it sucks :).

And I'm going to post more here, in the spirit of NaBloPoMo, the way it used to be.