The Po Show

Field Trippin'

Yesterday I went along on Tessa's nursery school field trip. It was actually the first time I've ever volunteered for a field trip, so it was long overdue. I managed to fit three carseats in my car's backseat, which was a first!

It was fun, if chaotic. The two 4 year old classes went, so there was a total of 32 four year olds. We went on the train (the commuter line) from Harrison, NY to Greenwich, CT, three whole stops :). Much more time was spent standing on the platform waiting for the train than the actual trips took. On the way out, we all huddled in the glass enclosure on the platform (it was like 26 degrees and felt much colder with the wind). Now THAT was loud!

We ended up in the bar car (no drinks were being served since it was 10 in the morning), so the kids were a little squished in the seats and not too happy about that. They were pretty stoked, though, that the conductor came and punched a ticket for each one of them (though the conductor himself didn't look too stoked). After we arrived at our destination and stood waving on the platform ("Goodbye Mr. Conductor!!!," the kids all cried), he said "Come back again," but then he rolled his eyes a bit, which leads me to believe that he was really hoping he never saw us again.

Then we walked a block and made a "surprise" visit (the kids didn't know ahead of time) to a pizza place. The owner was fantastic and showed the kids how they made pizza. Each kid was given a piece of dough to roll and flatten and try to flip. They passed around toppings and showed them how to put sauce and cheese on the dough. Then everyone got a slice. Tessa ended up at the food allergy table, with the little girl who couldn't have tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese (and got crust with ricotta cheese; she actually isn't supposed to have wheat either, but her parents cut her some slack so she could at least have the crust) and the little girl who couldn't have any cheese (and got cheeseless pizza). It was really fun.

Then we headed back to the station, boarded the train, and got a much more kid friendly conductor. He punched each kid's ticket with multiple punches in the shape of a smiley face :). We got back to the station, all headed to the parking lot, and I couldn't get the kids buckled in. The seatbelt in the middle locked and I could not get it to release. All the other cars drove away and there I was, sweating that we were left behind. I knew my way back, but had this horrifying image of the other two moms, waiting for their kids, wondering what the hell I had done with them.

Eventually I managed to get the belt buckled and we made it back to school. I was glad to no longer be responsible for other people's children.

So I wonder why it is that I have never volunteered to go on events with my children's classes. When I was working and Matthew was in daycare, Ross sometimes volunteered for trips. I had the excuse that I was working. Then I became a SAHM, and Matthew was in kindergarten, but I had the excuse that I had Tessa with me. But the last two years, I haven't had an excuse. So what's my problem? I guess it's been the overhang of social phobia that has haunted me, that bewilders me (I didn't used to be like this!). Maybe I just don't want to deal with it (I cherish my hours of kidlessness).

But maybe now that I've done it, I should remember that it was fun, and that Tessa was THRILLED to death that I came along and she got to hold my hand on the trip. Someday I'll be working again, and I will have that excuse again, so I really should do this while I can.

What.A.Week.

Just coming off a week from hell:

Monday: MLK Day, which gave me the opportunity to take the car in for its routine check up. I can only do this on holidays, since Ross is home to stay with the kids. Having only one car sucks, and I have to take it to a dealership way on the other side of the Hudson (since that's the only place that has a courtesy service that will drive me to the mall to hang out for the many hours it takes to service the car). So I hang out, wait two hours (bought coffee and a scone and *a book* and *read* woohoo!), and finally call to see what was up. The car needs several new parts, to the tune of EIGHTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. Okay, well, what the fuck, it's that or buy a new car. They promise it would be done by the end of the day, so I hunker down for the day and go to the movies (I have never gone to the movies by myself in my entire life!). Middle of the movie, get a call that the car would not, in fact, be done that day. Well now, that's a problem since we only have one car and I'm on the other side of the Hudson. They'd get me a loaner. Fine. I go back into the movie. Another call, no loaners. They'd split the cost of a rental car with me. Fine, have the driver come get me please. He's out to lunch; they'll send him in 45 minutes. Fine, I watch the rest of the movie. This is about 1:00. I finally get picked up by said driver at 2:45. We go to the dealership where I wait for the Enterprise Rent a Car dude. I get picked up and drive away with my piece of shit rental at 4:30. I finally get home around 5, having left at 8AM.

Tuesday: Tessa wakes up and says her ear hurts. Shit. I don't take these pronouncements lightly from Tessa, with her orthrolarynal history. Make an appointment with the doctor, no school for her. Yes, indeed another ear infection, number three since school started (added to the three sinus infections; got the ENT referral). Yet another scrip for yet another antibiotic (she just finished two weeks of Augmentin two weeks ago!). Call the service department to see what was up with the car at 11. Almost done! Just have to finish up and road test it! We'll call you! Tessa and I hang out, then I remember that at 1:00 I have an appointment to register her for kindergarten. I'm supposed to bring a bunch of documents to prove we live in White Plains. No problem, I have all that stuff, still in the folder I left it in when I registered her for Pre-K last Sept. Except of course I can't find the folder. I tear up the house a few times, to no avail (realizing that among the missing items is her birth certificate!). I find some other documents that I hope will suffice as substitutes. But I need a utility bill to prove we live here, and I don't have one. I try to go online and get a copy of our account info, but I need our account number. I call to get it. The nice woman needs Ross' SS#, which I've had memorized for 17 years, literally, but now am blanking out on. I frantically look for something that has the number, like last year's tax forms. I can't find anything. I remember the last 4 digits and she lets me have the account number. I bring up our account, bring up the page with our info, and the printer won't print. I fix the printer, print it, dash out of the house with Tessa, who's now out of it and feeling miserable. I realize I need copies of all these documents, so we rush to the library to make copies. I don't have a copy card. I buy one and make the copies. We rush to the school district office, only 10 minutes late. Tessa is asleep. I don't have the stroller because it's in my car on the other side of the Hudson. I lug her heavy self into the building and fill out forms one handed. Miraculously, they accept my substitute documentation and we complete the registration. I go home, load up my packages and get the jogger stroller out of the basement (and have a hell of a time loading it into the car) and go to the post office to ship my ebay stuff (19 packages!). We then go pick up Matthew at school and drive to return the rental car, which needs to be back by 3:32. At 3:31 we get there and wait for them to drive us to the dealership. I've been calling, still trying to figure out if the car is done, but I am repeatedly told the woman will call me back, which she does not. She finally calls as we're driving to the dealership, where I find the car is being road tested and will be back "soon." We wait in the waiting room, where the children are placated with Skittles and Juicy Fruit. At 4:30 we finally drive away, EIGHTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS added to my credit card charges.

Wednesday: We wake to howling winds, gusts up to 50 miles a hour! Man it was blowing! Took Matthew to school just before it started to pour rain. I decided Tessa should stay home one more day, so we hunkered down. I did want to go to Costco, but after the rain ended. Soon I realize that the wind is just too crazy, and I don't want to drive on the freeway, so we go to Trader Joe's in the afternoon instead. I regret going out, since there are downed trees and blocked streets and traffic lights out of service. We shop and get home, go to pick up Matthew and find that we can't get onto the street we usually take to pick up. It's almost comical how which ever way I drove, we kept coming up against a police cordon due to yet another huge fallen tree or downed power lines. When I pick up Ross in the evening from the train station, there are downed trees everywhere and whole neighborhoods with no power! We're so thankful that we are not among the powerless.

Thursday: Tessa actually goes to school in the morning (her whole two and a half hours of school for the week), though we have to take several detours to get there. Pre-K is cancelled, however, since the building has no power. On Friday, it still has no power, so no school. We have an uneventful visit to the allergist, so she doesn't go to school in the morning either.

Today was lovely. We went to the city for the first time since November (!), had pho in Chinatown, walked through Soho, went to Washington Square. It was 60 degrees! In January! People were out everywhere and it was so nice. A good end to a crappy week.

Narcissistic Introspection

Hey, the new year is the time for introspection, right? Plus a couple of things happened recently that got me thinking a lot about a previously much considered but now often neglected topic: mememe.

The Mental Me

Last week, as I was complaining about something that I couldn't remember (which sadly happens a lot these days), Tessa piped up from the back seat (sometimes I feel like Ross and I are in the Cone of Silence when we're driving in the car, but of course small people in the back are often listening), "Well, Mommy, you're not very smart."

Whatwhatwhat????????

Ross and I both immediately jumped on her, saying almost simultaneously, "That's not a nice thing to say!" She immediately apologized.

I then felt obligated to add, "I'm just tired! And it's all your fault!" Sigh.

When I recounted this tale to my sister, she added in my defense, "I have a master's degree!"

Yeah, and I have an I.Q. of 147. And I used to be really smart. But this is what my darling daughter sees of me, the mommy who forgets stuff and gets frustrated and is therefore obviously not very smart.

I can tell myself that someday I'll be less tired, someday I'll go back to work (somewhere, doing something...) and get to talk to intelligent adults on a regular basis again, and my brain will somehow kick start back into action. But it's a fricking sad commentary on my mental state.

The Physical Me

I look pretty crappy these days. I've really given up trying to look decent most of the time. I still weigh more than I'd like to, and I just pull back my hair everyday since it's easier than dealing with styling it, and makeup is like some wild prehistoric memory. I wear the same old clothes that emphasize comfort. I wear glasses that don't really suit me, and are often askew on my face (they were chosen because they're really light and therefore don't give me headaches).

And I'm almost 40, way past the age of cute.

But the other day, on the day after we got back from vacation and I was REALLY FREAKING TIRED and I was running around like a lunatic trying to get things in order, something nice happened. I was driving back from Costco, and had to slow down for construction. I passed a hardhat wearing construction worker, who looked me directly in the eyes, and his whole face lit up. He gave me a very appreciative look as I drove by.

Damn, I know that look. I used to get that look all the time. I used to car flirt regularly (hey, it's harmless, not like you're going to pull over and act on the flirting!) and would see that look.

I gave the guy my car flirt smile, and his smile got even wider. How nice.

Okay, I look like crap, *I* think, but maybe it's not as bad as I think.


I hope there's hope for both the mental me and the physical me, evidence to the contrary.

Happy Happy...

New Year. We're back and I'm wayyyyyy tired. We got back on Tuesday night at 10PM, unpacked and cleared up (not my first choice, but Ross goes on a rampage in these situations). Matthew was up till after midnight (that's only 9 PST), so I was seriously fearful for what would happen in the morning (since wake up time, 7AM, is 4AM PST). Ross and I got to sleep around 1:30.

It wasn't too bad a morning, as both kids went to school relatively easily. Then I spent the day running around, to TJ's and Costco, and did loads of laundry, in a jet lagged haze kept going through five shots of espresso. The kids seemed okay despite their lack of sleep and Tessa even opted to go to ballet after school.

Today was more running about, but I think we've settled in okay to being back.

Thoughts on the trip:

The first days were sooooo lovely and warm. I spent the first two days sweating, as I was still in long sleeves and warm pants (couldn't adjust to the concept of what temps in the 70s felt like and what was appropriate attire). I had to run out and buy a shirt on Xmas eve, as the thick, long sleeved black shirt I had brought along was just not going to work with a temperature of 80 degrees. The last couple of days were a disappointing, rainy time with temps "only" in the low 60s. But damn, it really brings home how much better the weather is in SoCal than here. Forget seasons, I want to be warm.

I love my family and friends so very much.

This was the first time in I don't know how long that Ross was around me and the kids a lot for 12 days straight. More than two years, certainly. We left the kids with my mom on several occasions and went out shopping, just the two of us, and it was wonderful. I really do have a fun and funny husband, when he's not gone 13 hours a day and stressed to the gills.

I hate Tamagotchi. I wish they would just die and not come back, so they would stop beeping. Or at least I wish they had an on/off switch.

2005 was a very hard year, and this was a wonderful way to let some of that hardness filter away.

I really really wish they would build some Coffee Bean and Tea Leafs around here. I couldn't get enough Vanilla Ice Blendeds, and having the mix at home just isn't the same.

I have hope in my heart that 2006 will be a good year, and that changes for the better are just around the corner for us.