The Po Show

And We're Out of Here...

I'm bustling about, getting the last minute things done in preparation for the kids and me to leave for CA tonight. I'm not good with making lists, so I prepare by wandering aimlessly about the house wondering what I forgot to do.

I spent a considerable amount of time doing things I really *didn't* need to do today. I went to Trader Joe's and returned 10 bags of freeze-dried strawberries that have been sitting in the cupboard for months. Tessa used to eat them every single day, and last year they ran out for awhile, so I had to buy freeze-dried berries at Whole Foods ($6.49 for 2 OUNCES!), so I started stockpiling the TJ's ones like I was preparing for armageddon. Then of course she decided she didn't like them anymore. So we were stuck with literally $100 worth of dried strawberries. I took 10 bags back to one TJ's last week, and 10 more to the other store near here today.

Anyway, we're going to CA, and for the last couple of days I've been caught up in that "I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!" mode that I always slip into before a trip. I don't want the hassle of making sure we're not forgetting anything, I don't want to travel by myself on a transcontinental flight with the kids (actually they do really well, being seasoned travelers, but still), I don't want to push myself out of the boring but nonetheless familiar rut of my usual daily activities. I know I'll have a great time, and the kids will have a great time, and above all, my mother will be so happy that we are there, but it's just the ramp-up that always bothers me.

Plus there is the issue of having to deal with the kids outside of their native habit. They love Grandma's house, but it's still different. In addition, Matthew's obsessiveness has really worsened over the past couple of weeks, focusing on this one online video game that he can't decide if he wants to play or not. He wants to play the game itself, but he read some complaints in his research that a lot of jerks play it, and he is afraid of having to deal with that. We've been around and around and around on this issue, and he literally can't stop thinking about it. He even (and this is actually a major breakthrough) told his therapist this week that he needed help with a problem, so they worked out a pros and cons list for whether or not he should try the game. All this is great, but he still keep coming back to being ambivalent, and being stuck in his ambivalence."O" is for Obsession.

Anyway, this is the first time we've gone to CA for spring break, and I'm glad I decided we should go. But there's a part of me that sort of wishes we were just hanging around here, taking it easy, rather than trying to get through security at JFK tonight.

More Laughter at My Daughter's Expense

Today Tessa was making slides to look at under her microscope. She was using red food coloring as a staining agent, and I noticed it all over her hands and several tissues in her room. I asked her, "You didn't get any of that on your clothes, did you?" She assured me that she had not.

So of course later when I picked up her clothes as she got in the bath, I saw that she had gotten red spots on her Hanna Andersson pants (yes, I should have made her change since she was working with red food coloring, but I didn't even realize she was making slides till she was through). I was *pissed*, not just because of the stains but because she'd lied to me. She apologized profusely and cried, "I didn't want you to be mad!!!" She promised not to do it again, and I was a little cool toward her all evening.

As she was going to bed, she placed a plastic bag next to my computer. I just looked in it and there was a note and a tissue-wrapped bundle, closed with a green twisty-tie. Inside was a small pack of Red Hots, two pieces of bubble gum, a peppermint wheel, and two Tootsie Rolls.

The note read:

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry.
I love you.
Uhhhh...

From,
Tessa

Funniest apology note I've ever read! :D

Fair Warning

I shouldn't laugh about this, but it struck me as so funny:

Ross took the kids to Target this morning at 7:45, so they could be there at opening to buy Pokemon Platinum DS. Tessa went from getting out of bed to getting in the car in 16 minutes; getting her ready in the morning is normally a herculean task. Matthew was really snapping to it, too, practically flying through getting dressed, going to the bathroom, brushing his teeth, getting his shoes on. Motivation truly is a miraculous thing.

But what I found funny was later, when I was getting out of the shower. I heard Tessa wailing, and Matthew trying to help her with her game, but apparently she still lost a battle. I came into the living room and she was huddled on the floor, hysterically crying. There's not much you can do for her when she's in that state, so we left her alone for a few minutes. She then got up, blew her nose, then grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something on it. I asked if she wanted to sit on the couch with me, so she sat in my lap for awhile, watched TV, and snapped out of her funk.

Later I looked at the piece of paper she'd left on the floor by where she'd been crying, and it said: "Wet Floore." :D

Happy Spring (??)

It is exactly the vernal equinox right now. And it's snowing. Not like piddly snow showers, but outright SNOW.

It won't last, but come ON, this is ridiculous!

Whew!

In the space of about an hour, I drank a double latte, took the migraine pain reliever my doctor told me to get today (which has 65mg of caffeine per tablet and I took two), and then drank a cup of green tea.

Ummm, why am I bouncing off the freaking walls?? Must be March Madness!! :D

Shop Till You Drop

I've fallen in with another bad crowd.

Actually I've been in with this crowd for almost 5 years, but it's a different part of the crowd. I'm talking about the people on GymboRebel, which started out as a forum for women obsessed with Gymboree. I joined initially as a form of research, to find out which items were considered "hot" (so I could go buy them and resell them on ebay), what lines were coming up and what people thought about them, find out in advance when sales were coming, that sort of thing. I ended up becoming friends with a lot of the people there, and remain so, mostly on Facebook, though most of us have transcended Gymboree and I no longer buy for resale.

What I do buy now is Gap, Hanna Andersson, and Boden (a British clothing brand), so I frequent the parts of the forum devoted to those brands. And the devotees of those brands are every bit as obsessed with upcoming items, sales, and the value of later resale as the Gymboree people ever were, and I've caught the fever, I'm afraid. I spend way too much time checking there to find out what pictures of upcoming SKUs people have uncovered on the net, what sales are coming, what will be included in said sales, what coupons can be combined with what other coupons to maximize savings, etc. It's gotten a little rabid on my part.

And I am a freaking PIKER compared to some of these women.

During all the years I've been on this forum, it's never ceased to amaze me how much some people spend on their kids' clothes. People will start a thread asking how many outfits others have so far for the coming season (outfits, mind you, not individual items of clothing) and there are people whose purchases number over 100, for each kid they have. They start enumerating the number of dresses, each kind of top, each kind of bottom, and it's staggering. People will start a thread about how much people have to ebay each season, and the responses are given in the number of 40 gallon Rubbermaid bins, and sometimes those bins number a dozen or more. Everyone there talks about huge numbers of outfits that only got worn once, or not at all.

These are people with a serious children's clothing addiction. A certain item will sell out in their child's size, and they FREAK OUT, and cannot stop till they have somehow acquired that item. People call the clothing company or the store manager or whoever the vilest of names you can imagine, if they are somehow impeded from purchasing the items they desire. Every once in a while someone will step back and say, "It's only clothes," but somehow that sentiment falls by the wayside again and again.

And I'm wondering why. It's obvious that it is the mother's issue, because while a little girl may choose a twirly dress or a little boy may love a shirt with a funny monster on it, overall younger kids are not going to give a crap what they wear. Where does the need to buy and buy and buy come from? What is it fulfilling? I know that for me, it's often the buying part, the hunt, managing to find the bargain, more than the actual stuff itself. Though I do love to see the outfits on Tessa, my own little dress-up dolly.

And why kids' clothes? I know there are tons of people who spend dizzying amounts on their own clothing, or electronics, or jewelry, or whatever. One woman on the forum said something that I'll never forget: "Lots of people collect things. I collect children's clothes." So maybe there is that element to it, the coveting of items for your collection. It's a different kind of collection, though, because most of the hard-core addicts also ebay their kids' clothing, so it's a temporary collection (with constant replacement). For me, knowing that I'll get back at least something of what I paid for Tessa's clothes (and often as much as I paid or even MORE than I paid), gives me permission to overbuy.

I think the fact that it's their (umm, our) kids' clothes, that also allows people (um, me) to put so much time and effort and money into it. It's for the kids, not yourself, so it's all right, right? Studies show that people often feel badly after they purchase things for themselves, but people almost universally feel good after they purchase things for other people. You get the shopping thrill with less of the post-shopping hangover guilt.

I swear, I would love to write a book about all this. But with all the effort I spend online looking for deals and waiting for new lines to come out, who has the time?

Misc.

1. So do I have the only child in the world who has to leave presents for the Tooth Fairy?? I know it's sweet and all, but really. At bedtime last night, Tessa had to hurriedly make the TF a bunch of paper cutouts, including "tooth holders" for both incisors and canines. All of this was put into a tiny little gift bag, along with a note that said, "Please return this bag!" I stuffed it all in my sock drawer, along with the clay pot she made the TF when she last lost a tooth. I knew I should have written a little thank you note for her in fancy "fairy writing" as I've done for the last several gifts and/or questions she has left with her discarded teeth, but I just didn't feel up to it. Because:

2. I think I might have migraines. All of my life I've had headaches, sometimes big nasty headaches that last for four days and make me feel like throwing up. I've always thought they were sinus headaches, but I'm starting to see a lot of the classic signs of migraines in them (like that nausea I just mentioned). Yes, I know I need to see a doctor. My nominal primary care provider (I've seen her all of once, for a physical last year) is out on maternity leave. But mostly I just don't feel like calling and making myself an appointment. I feel like I spend so much time and effort taking the kids to the doctor and the dentist, I never want to go myself. This last headache seems to be abating, but it could not have come at a worse time. Because:

3. Ross has been in DC since early Monday morning. He'll get back tomorrow night, so the bulk of the trip is over. Still, it's been quite awhile since he's been gone for four days in a row. This is the fourth trip to DC he's made in the last five weeks. I hate sleeping alone; I hate doing the bedtime routine all by myself; I hate not having him to talk to in the evenings after the kids go to bed. I hate hearing the wind rattle the back door and feeling, if not exactly unsafe, unsettled. I hate having him gone. I really hate having him gone this week in particular, not just because of the headache, but because:

4. Both of my kids are off this week for staff conferences. But not on the same day. No, of course not. Because then I'd have only one day of the week in which I couldn't get anything done. Though in a way, it's nice that they each get a Mommy alone day, a very rare occurrence these days. Today Matthew was off, and we had a very nice lunch out together, just the two of us. I tried to talk to him a little about school, though he was very resistant. Later we talked a little about other stuff that's been going on with him, and there's a lot going on, because:

5. My baby boy really is hitting puberty. I was very shocked the other day to discover that his testicles have descended much more than I would have guessed, and umm, they are not the testicles of a little boy anymore. I got him the AMA's Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen, which I found to be age-appropriate and informative without being more comprehensive than he really needs at this point. (I was looking on Amazon and one book that was very highly recommended apparently also discussed abortion and boys engaging in mutual masturbation and we really don't need to go there at this point in time!) The day I gave it to him, he was interested, but didn't start reading it right away. That night, as he got ready for bed, he came up to me with the book and said, "Can we read this together?"

Of course I said, "Sure!" and we read the introductory chapter together, but in my head I was screaming, "Why do **I** have to do this? I'll do the whole girl routine with Tessa! I can't discuss ejaculation with him!!!"

The next night at bedtime I was in the middle of cleaning up, and he came over again and asked if we could continue reading the book. A bit relieved, I said hopefully, "I'm in the middle of this. Why don't you go read with Dad?"

Ross chimed in from the living room, "Yes, I'll read with you!"

Matthew looked at him rather askance and replied, "Never mind. I'll read by myself," and then went into this room and shut the door!

Ross has tried a couple of times again, asking if he has any questions or wants to talk about anything he's read in the book, but the answer is always no. I find this so interesting (and uncomfortable!). Ross and Matthew have a very good relationship, though of course both of my children have been mommy babies since the day they were born. And really, wouldn't Matthew want to talk to someone who has been through the same experiences, and well, has the same equipment? I guess I'm just relieved that Matthew finally has gotten the full low-down (so to speak) about sex (which he always says in a whisper :D). He seems neither grossed out nor confused, nor particularly intrigued by that part of the book, though. He said he hadn't really been wondering about that, more about changes to his own body. Which is fine, because:

I am still not ready to really discuss the intricacies and the myriad aspects of sex with this baby-faced child with feet bigger than my own.

Erin Go Bragh

Tessa is working on handmade St. Patrick's Day cards for all her classmates and teacher. She wrote a poem called "Searching Shamrocks" that she wants to submit to the school newsletter. She took out a big book of St. Patrick's Day crafts from the library.

And we're not even Irish.

I feel like she's channeling the spirit of some overachieving 1950s housewife, designing handmade place cards for her picture-perfect dinner party and making decoupage light switch covers. I just wish she could drive herself to the craft store for poster paint and googly eyes. Apparently the pom poms I bought her today (her list specified "green and black pom poms mixed with a few other colors" and yes, she sent me with a shopping list) were inadequate, and I'm to get more tomorrow.

For St. Patrick's Day. What will she have planned for Easter? The mind boggles.

Less than Three Weeks from Spring

And we've had this huge snowstorm! Welcome to climate change, I guess. I honestly can't tell right now if it's snowing again or the wind is just blowing snow around (fiercely, I might add), but it looks like a blizzard outside. Like how I envisioned blizzards when I was a little girl, reading the Little House on the Prairie books. Anyway, hellalotta snow.

I was sort of in denial about all the pronouncements about a Winter Storm Warning over the weekend. Yesterday we just had some flurries that later melted. But reports spoke of a lot of snow arriving overnight, that seemed to presage a Snow Day in the making for Monday. I just could not wrap my mind around a Snow Day in March, just weeks away from the official start of spring. Not that we have never experienced spring snow: when we lived in MA, Ross and Tessa made a big snowman on the first day of spring, and I had to take pictures to commemorate the occasion. Still, we haven't had anything like this since we moved to NY.

It was actually good that we ended up with a Snow Day today, since Matthew woke up at 1:30 and was still awake at 6:00. Thankfully he fell back asleep after that and didn't wake again till almost 10:00. I was up from 2:30 to 3:30 myself, as salt trucks and snow plows scraped and thudded their way past our house, again and again and again. I swear, trucks clomped by over a dozen times in half an hour. What the hell were they DOING?

It is beautiful, as fresh snow always is, but I'm still a little weirded out that it is here, in such voluminous amounts, so late in the season. Not to mention that tonight the low is supposed to be 12 degrees, RealFeel MINUS 12. I appreciate the symmetry of that, but that is just too damn cold.